The Accidental Mentor

Every fall I take some time to reflect on my summer internship program- What went well? What could be better? What was the highlight? And did I do enough? For the last five summers I have had the honor of putting together and managing my organizations Diversity & Inclusion Internship Program. It has truly grown from a small pilot into a comprehensive, well balanced program, that in its short existence has proven to be a much needed diverse talent pipeline. 

Each year I add a new component, or tweak something that wasn't quite working, in an effort to make it even stronger for the next class. But the one thing that was never quite successful is a mentor program. It is an element that has been tried in the past, but just hasn't worked the way I want it to. And at the end of each summer, a little piece of me feels like I've gypped my interns by not having matched them with an official mentor. Then the end of this summer came and everything changed. I realized that there was a mentor program in place. It just wasn't a traditional one.

Fast forward to the last day of the program- I get a thank you note from one of the interns that literally brought me to tears. Actual- crying like a baby, someone came to check to make sure I was okay- tears. Earlier in the week I facilitated a networking lunch with senior executives, and this intern, let's call him B, really rose to the occasion. He did his homework and when his peers sat there quiet, he jumped in and asked very thoughtful questions. He had used the eight weeks to blossom and I sent him a note to let him know how impressed I was with him and to thank him for bringing his A game. 

This is when the thank you came. And the tears. And this is what I learned from it. And I'm going to quote B's thank you note because his words are too powerful to not be shared.

An unconventional question is more than just a fun way to end an interview.

• I do a lot of phone interviews each year, so I started asking an unconventional question as a way to lighten things up and see how well each student can think of their feet. This summer I asked, "If you were on an island and could only bring three things, what would you bring?" I didn't think much of it, but it seemed to make an impact on B. In his letter he reflected on his answers from the interview- which were much more survival based (sunglasses, an umbrella and water). But after his internship he saw everything differently, and he reflected back on that question. "Now fast forward to today, if you ask me the same question, my response would change dramatically. A pen and paper to document my experience, a phone to picture my experience and WiFi to send you this email." TEARS. 

Sometimes trying to be funny pays off.

• I approach my role as intern manager as more of a big sister than a boss. I like to keep things mostly light with the group, while also letting them know what I expect from them. I always end my intern orientation with this- "Over the next eight weeks, each and every one of you represent me. Do not embarrass me. And this is YOUR internship, so it is up to you to make the most of it." I don't think much of it- I just think it's a fun way to send them off into the program. And I really don't want them to embarrass me! But this year B really took it to heart. "The reason my answers changed about the island were because during our orientation, you specifically said do not embarrass me and make yourselves look good. Since then I haven't stopped." Sometimes it's a few words that make someone want to be their best.

Respect is the most important piece of being a leader.

• Of course I want all my interns to shine- they really are a reflection of me. But I also know that they are college kids being thrown into the big leagues, so mistakes will be made. I also know that not all of them will care about making me look good, and that's okay too. I am giving them an opportunity, and the rest is up to them. But when you gain the respect of someone, they want be their best not only for themselves, but for you too. They take pride in their work and become empowered- and there is nothing that will breed a better employee. "During today's conference with the Executives, I did just that. I came prepared, had my confidence and was ready to shine. It wasn't just for me, but for every single person I was associated with. It was my focus to show the Executives what you (Stefanie) have accomplished, and for the Executives to see how we the interns can shine under pressure." I've literally have never been more proud. Proud of my intern who had blossomed in eight short weeks. And proud of myself for developing and executing a program that allowed for this growth.

This summer I became an accidental mentor- and it's a pretty awesome feeling. This summer it became clear that learning and growing isn't always about formality and guidelines. This summer I learned that I should always be mindful about my words and actions- big and small- because you never know who is watching. This summer I learned that all the little things add up. And most importantly, this summer I learned that I can have an impact on someone's life. And that is, perhaps, the best lesson I've learned so far in my career.